As women we thrive, we flourish, in sisterhood. We need close connection with other women. For centuries women have worked closely with each other and supported each other, we’ve raised each other’s children, it’s in our nature. And yet, today, far too many women crave that connection and feel so isolated. We compare ourselves to and compete with other women instead of lifting up other women, and we hide behind computer and phone screens.

But it’s natural for women to come together with other women, especially in times of stress. In fact, recent research has shown that when stressed, women secrete oxytocin, known as the “cuddle hormone,” which, from an evolutionary biology standpoint, counters the fight-flight response and encourages and allows us to protect our children and to come together with other women for support. This is known as “tend and befriend.”

A number of research studies have shown that the more close girlfriends a woman has, the less likely she is to develop certain ailments as she ages, and the more likely she is to have positive outcomes from certain types of cancer.

One of the special things that happens when women come together in sisterhood is that we share our truth, we really open up and share our deepest feelings. And when we share our truth, our sisters hold us and embrace and support us, and we really need this in our lives.

Research is clear that the number one predictor of happiness is having close relationships. So, where is sisterhood in your life? Who are the women you can count on, you can open up to, you can call at 3 in the morning if you need to talk? If you’re not sure, then get working on it! Find a women’s group that you can join, maybe a MeetUp, ask friends if they know of a women’s group in the area, go on a retreat with women… Find some powerful container, a safe space for you to be your true self with other women who will support you.

I’ve seen time and time again that women who choose to be in sisterhood accelerate their success in so many ways. Having a close group of women who say, “I hear you, I see you, I’m with you, and I believe in you,” who hold each other higher – this is incredibly powerful.

Practice being the sister to other women that you want them to be for you. Make it a daily practice to compliment another woman. When we see other women being awesome, get in the habit of letting them inspire us instead of feeling like we need to compete with them. Uplift other women, because as we help other women reach their goals, we all rise higher.

It would really mean a lot to me if you would go to iTunes and leave me a review (hopefully a great one!), leave a 5 star rating, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode, and download the episodes! And please spread the word and help our community grow!

Thank you so much spending your time with me! And if you aren’t following me already, you can find me on Instagram and Facebook, and click here to receive my newsletter.

May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life.

 

Bye for now!

We hear stories of famous people, celebrities, people we think must have a great life and must be happy, committing suicide. Within the span of a few days, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain both took their own lives. Their suicides are no more tragedies than the suicides of all the people we’ve never met, all the people who don’t make it on tv and in the newspapers, but they highlight the tragedy in a way that only the suicide of a celebrity can do. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds. (Wikipedia)

My guest, Lisa Lapidus, LICSW, PIP, is passionate about working with clients on personal growth, in both individual and group sessions. She has worked in private agencies as well as in school-based settings and wilderness programs. Having completed extensive studies in the Grief Recovery Method, she specializes in helping others work through grief and loss. Ms. Lapidus finds it most rewarding to help her clients replace self-loathing with self-love and to move from “I can’t” to “I can.” She emphasizes a family systems approach, believing we are all connected – that what happens to one individual in a family or community affects us all. Her areas of specialization & interests are: Individual and personal growth, grief and loss, fitness and well-being, child development, parenting, family of origin issues, adult children of alcoholics, codependency, relationship issues, adolescents, and ADHD.

One of the major factors contributing to the high rates of depression and suicide is isolation. Despite the ubiquity of so many forms of instant communication, many people feel more and more isolated. We spend more time connecting electronically and less time with face-to-face encounters, more time liking each other’s posts and less time hugging a friend hello.

In addition, we’ve given more and more weight to our own appearance on social media, making sure that we look perfect and that our lives look perfect, and in essence we’re putting on a mask that prevents others from truly seeing us and makes it harder to really connect with others. And underneath it all, what we really need to do is love ourselves. We need to learn to truly accept ourselves for who we are and love ourselves deeply.

Lisa addresses the nature-nurture characteristics of depression, and for many people suffering from depression it’s more important to treat the symptoms than to try to figure out exactly why it’s happening. For some there may be an organic reason for the depression and appropriate medical attention is certainly necessary, but medication alone may just numb the symptoms, whereas learning to live with depression is critical.

The inability to recognize – and properly handle — grief in our own lives is another important factor influencing depression, and Lisa discusses the Grief Recovery Method, one of her favorite tools for working with grief.

Lisa stresses the importance of speaking openly with people whom you think might be contemplating suicide, and when doing so, being specific. Don’t be afraid to come out and ask if they’re thinking of killing themself. The communication needs to be open and frank.

We end with a discussion on what to do if you suspect that a child in your life is depressed and considering suicide. During this discussion, Lisa recommends the book, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And How To Listen So Kids Will Talk, which you can find at Amazon, and she shares the useful acronym SLAP as it pertains to assessing someone’s risk.

If you would like to get in touch with Lisa Lapidus you can contact her at Empower Behavioral Health in Huntsville, Alabama. The number is 256-519-9144. Or you can email her [info@empowerhsv.com] or go to her website [empowerbehavioralhealth.com].

It would really mean a lot to me if you would go to iTunes and leave me a review (hopefully a great one!), leave a 5 star rating, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode, and download the episodes! And please spread the word and help our community grow!

May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life.

Bye for now!

Years ago, when I first started thinking about leaving my corporate career and starting my own business, I was filled with doubt, insecurity, and a LOT of fear, and this is all very common. In fact, fear of failure in entrepreneurs has been studied for decades, and it very clearly has a negative impact on entrepreneurial activity and success. 

This fear of failure is often tied to a deeper fear that we’ll be ashamed if we aren’t successful, that we’ll feel shame around our struggles and setbacks, and this can be paralyzing to the point that we never actually get started.

The most important thing, more than your knowledge or your actual product or service, is your mindset. It’s the willingness to take a leap of faith and stick with it, it’s perseverance, it’s belief in yourself.

And you need to think deeply about your own relationship with fear and how it impacts you, how you let it impact you. Research has shown that your brain perceives stress and excitement in very similar ways, and that it isn’t so much the stress but how you deal with the stress, how you interpret it and give meaning to it, that determines whether your body has greater adverse physiological reactions to it, and I share ways to re-envision stress and fear and shift it to the positive.

In starting your own business, you must be clear on your purpose, your passion, your “why” driving it all. I talk a lot about purpose, and purpose should be the driving force behind your new venture.

 And you should dream BIG! Too often we think, “What if this goes nowhere, what if I fail, what if no one wants to buy what I have to offer?” Try balancing that out by going in the other direction. What if your venture is wildly successful, what if you end up on Shark Tank, what if your book becomes a best seller? For most people, the reality will be somewhere in between. And there is an enormous body of research supporting the importance of visualization to successful performance. Top athletes practice visualizing hitting home runs, or skiing down a particular slope in a particular way, or shooting free throws.

Finally, I talk about the importance of having a group of people around you who support and cherish your dream and will cheerlead you as you launch your venture, whether that’s friends, a coach that you hire, a mentor, or a mastermind you join.

And as I often do, I end with a few Purpose Power Tools.

At the end of this episode I offer free 30-minute discovery calls for those who would like to explore their dreams, who need help figuring out next steps. Email me at carin@carinrockind.com! If you’re not ready for a call and you’re not yet on my newsletter list, go to my website (blog.carinrockind.com) and sign up to recevie my newsletter and my free Living On Purpose Guide, and that can help you get on your path.

It would really mean a lot to me if you would go to iTunes and leave me a review (hopefully a great one!), leave a 5 star rating, subscribe to this podcast so you never miss an episode, and download the episodes! And please spread the word and help our community grow!

May you live purposefully, may you love yourself, and may you love life.

Bye for now!