Sister,

What do you need right now? 

This was the question I asked every woman who attended the PurposeGirl Sisterhood Circle on Thursday night, and the response was extraordinary. 

Nearly 20 women gathered – a beautiful equal mix of black, brown, and white Sisters of different nationalities and religions – and we all wanted the same things: Love, space to share honest real raw feelings, connection, healing, support, and conversation. 

So we loved all over each other. 

When women cried about wanting a different world for our children, we all cried and vowed to make it different for them. 

When women shared that they were exhausted after fighting for equal rights for decades and feeling hopeless, those of us newer to the effort said we'd carry the torch, do our part, and hold space for hope. 

When women needed to be heard and witnessed, we listened and honored them. 

When women said that they want to do more and have courage to speak, we told them we believed in them and shared resources. 

I was blown away by these Sisters' bravery and honesty, and how real conversation between open-hearted women was so healing.

Every woman on that call was on Purpose – whether for her children, her clients, the Black community, herself, and the world at large – and it was glorious! 

As they all hung up saying they felt grateful, hopeful, supported, and full of love, it was a reminder for me why I created PurposeGirl: I don't know about every issue that's needed to change the world, but I do know how to bring women together who each have their unique purposes so that together we heal, we RISE, and we make this world better! 

More than ever, I'm convinced that Sisterhood is needed for healing.
I'm certain that Women's love will advance equal opportunity for all.   
I'm sure that Women on Purpose will change this world for good. 

As I've been feeling into how I serve you, support our PurposeGirl community, speak up for equality and take care of my very pregnant self (3 weeks to go!) all at the same time, I realize that I can best help by continuing to take a stand for every single one of YOU living your true purpose. 

The world needs us now, Sister. The world needs your gifts, your voice, your wisdom and power. 

A power outage kept me from releasing a new PurposeGirl Podcast episode on Thursday, but this weekend I released an episode from my heart about why Black Lives Matter – to me, to us all. I share about how I feel thinking about bringing my baby boy into the world and what I see for all of us PurposeGirls. I also share resources I've been using to learn and be an active Anti-Racism advocate. 

And I remind us all why we need to be the Goddesses on Purpose we were born to be. Listen here.

Baby is coming in 3 weeks, and as he's cooking in my belly, I'm cooking up something for you all to discover, elevate, and RISE in Purpose right now. Stay tuned, Sisters… 

I love you!

XO,
Carin

I don't know about you but COIVD-19 has me craving and appreciating connection more than ever. 

I miss hugging my friends. 
I miss crying on a soul sister's lap when I'm having a rough day.
I miss having hands on my belly as baby grows. (Yes, I'm someone who loved that!)

But the last 2 weeks have shown me that we can have deep, meaningful, powerful connection even when distanced. 

In some ways, even more powerful… 

Last weekend, my EMPOWERED class graduated online and throughout 2.5 hours, we shared and cried and elevated and felt PROFOUND LOVE.

After 4 months of going deep in self-love and purpose, these women have become the closest of friends, and several of them have started businesses, changed their marriages, left a job to pursue a dream, finally felt self-love, and SO much more BECAUSE of the Sisterhood and tools (that they got ONLINE).

And every week for the past 7 weeks, I've been leading my 8 week online Goddess on Purpose course and through week after week of diving deep into your JOY, your WISDOM, your INSPIRATION, and 

your VOICE (ONLINE) – crying, elevating, laughing, dressing up, and dancing together, women shared that they've never felt so safe, so seen, so loved or so celebrated.

Then, two weeks ago, a few friends held an online Baby Blessing/Shower for me and it was one of the most beautiful, profound, deep Sisterhoods I've ever felt.
Fifty (yes 50!) women gathered from throughout North America to celebrate me and baby.
But it wasn't a shower of gifts – it was a shower of FEMININE LOVE.

Each woman lit a candle as she “brought in” the essence of her mothers and grandmothers so that baby and I were surrounded by HUNDREDS of women.
Then each woman shared a poem, wisdom, book, or words right from their hearts to ours about me, Josh and our baby. 
Then they all wrapped us (virtually) in string and tied that string to their wrists

 until baby is safely born. 
And I felt profoundly GRATEFUL for the online experience because then my aunts in Michigan, my cousins in Denver, my Sister and her baby in Chicago and friends and family ALL OVER wouldn't have been there. And it wouldn't have been the same without them. 

As you can imagine, many of us were in TEARS.
Women emailed me after saying it was the most beautiful experience they'd ever felt.
So online was actually BETTER.

Then last week, my online positive psychology class held an online Goddess Baby Blessing for me where they each made signs and shared wisdom, and the same thing – everyone felt the connection deeply. They've never met in person, but have been learning online and sharing deeply for 8 months!

I share all of this because though I'm indeed missing touch (and I know I'm blessed to live with Josh and get it), I'm realizing that we can have deep, profound, life-changing connection online.

And we NEED it. Beyond catching up or venting, we need the deep love, support, and uplifting that ONLY SISTERHOOD can provide.

It just takes a bit more intentionality to create each online experience as a meaningful one.

In this week's episode of the The PurposeGirl Podcast I share how to create these experiences with your girlfriends with Purpose Power Tips you can use right away to go deeper and create truly magical experiences even now, during COVID-19. When we need it most. Check it out here.

Listen to the episode, do the Purpose Power Tips at the end, and if you want to go deeper into discovering YOUR PURPOSE, turning fear into fuel for COURAGE, and being held and celebrated by non-judgmental, deep, loving SISTERHOOD, I will be holding Goddess on Purpose again in October and EMPOWERED in January, so email me here to be notified, because space is limited!

Today, on Memorial Day in the US, I send lots of love and thanks for all who have served and whom we've lost. I hope we all find the courage to serve our purpose and rise up, and that we do so in Sisterhood to create the most POWERFUL group of Goddesses on Purpose who change themselves and this world for good!

XO,
Carin

Anyone else feeling done with COVID? Just blah and like you're losing hope? You're not alone. But if there's anything that gun robbery, multiple miscarriages and domestic abuse have shown me, it's that we humans can come back stronger. 

Throughout the past week, I've given 4 talks to organizations on coming back bigger and better after COVID and people have LOVED it SO much – sharing that they cried with Hope, finally felt Inspired to move forward, and Ready to create, that I want to share the highlights with you. From 40 women online to 500 dentists and hygienists on Zoom, to 250 people worldwide in conjunction with Ecoversity and Columbia University, here are the main points for us all:

1. We are all Weeble Wobbles. When Candy Lightner's daughter died at 13 in a drunk driving accident, no one would have blamed Candy if she had given up on life, become an alcoholic or never come back to life. But in time, Candy got MADD and DID something about it. She created Mothers Against Drunk Driving which has decreased drunk driving accidents by 50% and saved 370,000 lives since its inception. We all have “Candy” in us. 

Remember that toy that was shaped like an egg and no matter how many times you pushed it down, it came back? That's the human spirit. Every person I know has been through so much. Many of you have emailed me that you've survived abuse, infertility, divorce, heartbreak, children being sick, and more, and you still get up to feed your kids, take a shower, and go to work. So I KNOW you can get through COVID, too. YOU WILL RISE UP. Just as you have before. Does it mean that you aren't entitled to exhaustion, fear, anxiety and anger? You're human – Feel it all. Punch pillows, scream in the car, call a friend and cry it out. Have a TON of compassion for yourself. Love yourself. All of that is important to feel and turn into fuel because in it all is a big way forward – like Candy. 

2. It all begins with HOPE. As cheesy as that might sound, we know from the late scientist C.R. Snyder that HOPE ignites your brain to be motivated and to think of strategies forward. It's literally the great matchstick to spark your goals. Think about it – when you're hope-LESS, you feel HELPLESS and POWERLESS and then you have no way to move forward. But even the tiniest spark of Hope can get you moving forward. 

When I suffered my miscarriages, I felt helpless and told Josh I wanted to end my life. But YOU were my spark of Hope. All of you PurposeGirls – all of my coaching clients and EMPOWERED and Goddess on Purpose students – who tell me that I'm like a Mom to you. So I meditated, “Show me what else I”m here to birth…” and the image of women around the world also suffering from depression came to me and my not-for-profit initiative, “Women's Global Happiness Day” was born. For the past 2 years, on the anniversary of the second miscarriage, women have gathered from Abuja, Nigeria to Toronto, Canada, to Singapore and West Palm Beach, Florida — nearly 200 events on 6 continents have taken place. So, as hard as this situation is, in 4 years, what are you hoping to be able to say about how you showed up during COVID and what you did with it? Ignite the Hope within. 

3. Repeat “I CHOOSE.” These 2 words are so powerful that I wear them around my neck as a daily reminder. We didn't choose COVID. We didn't choose quarantine. We didn't choose all the chaos and loneliness and hardship. Heck no. But we can choose what we do with it. Someone I know is choosing to research new sources of income. Someone else I know is choosing to homeschool her kids in baking and art and it's FUN. I'm choosing to focus on the excitement of the Baby instead of the grief about birthing him during COVID. Similar to Hope, I CHOOSE is about Mindset. What you think leads to what you feel, which leads to your behavior. So if you think “I'll never get up from this,” you'll feel defeated and not take any action. And action helps with anxiety. So you want to question your thoughts and see if there are new thoughts to choose. Like, “This sucks, but I can do hard things,” or, “I'm tired, but I believe in myself,” or, “I will find a way through.” Each of these thoughts helps you. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Yes. 

When Dick and Judy Hoyt's son, Rick, was born with the umbilical cord around his neck, doctors said Rick would be a “vegetable” and they should put him away for his life. But Dick and Judy chose to bring Rick home and treat him like their other boys. He couldn't talk or walk, but they knew he thought and understood. He got a voice machine and to translate thoughts and told his dad that he wanted to run a race to show other disabled people that they can be alive, so Dick pushed him in the wheelchair for miles. Rick loved it so much that Dick and Rick went on to run many marathons and Ironmans. Rick also graduated from college and they are an inspiration to millions. Dick and Judy CHOSE and it made a huge difference to their son's quality of life. Then Rick CHOSE and it's made a huge difference to the world.

4. Ignite Your Purpose. My grandparents were Holocaust survivors, and would you believe that I never heard them complain a day in their lives? My grandmother never complained about leaving her wealthy, fun life as a teenager and arriving here in the US with no money, no English and no skills. My grandfather never complained about being kicked out of his last year of medical school in Vienna, losing his parents in concentration camps, or not being accepted by any medical schools here to finish his last year. Instead, they chose to make a great life, to find other paths and enjoy their community and family. My grandfather's purpose was to heal others so he went into Public Health instead. Both of them became active in the synagogue. They made positive meaning of their lives and chose. They taught me to not just survive, but thrive with Purpose. We can, too. 

Purpose is being your whole self, fully alive, fully expressed. It's doing all that's in your heart and following your true dreams and desires. It's actively impacting the world in your own unique way. And the beauty of purpose is that according to a 2011 research study, Purpose gives you overall life satisfaction, even when you're having a shitty day. So how do you “find” your purpose? It begins with knowing yourself – getting clear on your inspiration, your joy, your SuperPowers and your Wisdom to share. Then it's taking it out into the world. The women in my Goddess on Purpose class are going through this step by step and they are ROCKING it, this week sharing their gifts in videos. Similarly, the women in my EMPOWERED class just graduated this weekend with SO much purpose – they discovered their dreams of leading women, healing Mama Earth, bringing the feminine to corporate life, hosting events that bring community together, coaching people to get dream careers, and more. They knock my socks off! If you want to know when I'm holding my next Goddess on Purpose or EMPOWERED class so that you can find and live your purpose, email me here to be on the “first to know” list! 

5. Create New Possibilities (AKA: Turn Shit into Fertilizer). Most of us have heard of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but fewer have heard of “Post Traumatic Growth” (PTG). A construct conceived and researched by psychologists Drs. Tedeschi and Calhoun, PTG is what Candy Lightner did, what Dick and Rick Hoyt did, what my client who started online women's events during COVID did, and what my grandparents did: They created new possibilities for their lives. They used the trauma to find new meaning – appreciating life, creating strength and courage, deepening spiritual faith and relationships. The company “Meetup” was created because Scott Heiferman found personal connection so helpful during 9-11. In this way, it's not that we create “DESPITE” our trauma – but “BECAUSE” of it. This is possible for us all and it's the ultimate way to come back stronger, bigger and better. 

So what are you learning during this time? What strength and courage have you found? Which relationships have you strengthened? What new possibilities do you see for yourself BECAUSE of COVID?

Listen – do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to give up in defeat? How many pity parties I've held for little ol' me? I get so scared and angry and I grieve loss. let myself have as much Ben & Jerry's as I want! But then, for my own self preservation, I turn it into LIFE. When a friend drowned while with me on Lake Erie and I couldn't save him, my ex-boss' wife said to me, “You poor thing — so many bad things happen to you.” But I don't see it that way. I'd crawl in a hole and die if I did! Rather, I see it all as happening for Purpose – no matter how painful at the time. So you, too, can turn this shit into fertilizer by finding new possibilities. 

For me, having an online business already has SAVED us during COVID, having a platform to empower people has given me purpose and aliveness, so in COVID, I've seen the possibility of being even more vocal about Women RISING in purpose. Sharing their talents and gifts. Making money for themselves. I'm convinced it's the way to empower and change the world. But that's me. What new possibilities do you see?

And if you need help with any of this, email me. I'm already booking coaching clients and will have a Goddess on Purpose and Dream Accelerator class after maternity leave. We'll get you on purpose and in new possibilities together!

Finally, if you know of an organization that needs this talk, email us here. We're doing it online and I'm grateful it's changing lives!

So much love,

XO,
Carin

To those who are moms, those who by choice are not moms, those who are struggling with fertility desperate to be a mom, those who have a challenging relationship with your mom, or a deceased mom, and EVERY other woman alive, this message is for you. 

Mother's Day can be glorious, yummy, confusing, heartbreaking, and so much more. Today, and in this week’s PurposeGirl Podcast episode, I want to honor it all and celebrate you all.

**(In fact, this topic is so touching for me that I cry about 6 times in the podcast episode! You can listen at the link below.)

I’m INCREDIBLY grateful to be 7 months pregnant, but truth be told, Mother's Day has been incredibly hard for me for the past 5 years… 
I've been so grateful for my wonderful mom, AND heartbroken that Josh's mom passed away 20 years ago and he doesn't get to call her. Plus, I'm sad I’ll never get to thank her for raising such a wonderful son.
I've been so happy for my friends who are moms, AND felt so much grief for the babies I lost.
I've felt great reverence for all that moms do, AND so ashamed of the self-pity I had that I'd never get to be one myself.

And in all that, here's what I've learned: Every woman deserves celebration today.
If you're trying to have a baby, I celebrate your tenacity, strengths and resilience.
If you lost your mom or have an estranged relationship with your mom, I celebrate your courage. 
If knew you didn’t want to be a mom, I celebrate your wisdom.
If you're enjoying pancakes in bed or calls or handmade cards from your kids today, I celebrate your love. 

In graduate school, a professor said, “The only evolutionary purpose for a woman is to be a mother.”
I was pissed. I was 36 years old and had just left my cushy corporate salary to learn positive psychology and become PurposeGirl – and this “esteemed” PhD is telling me I have no purpose?! Screw that!!  

So that night, a few of us childless women got together to have wine and vent and one of them said, “We're here to mother the world.” 
My whole body relaxed. My heart expanded. I knew it was TRUTH.

Let's face it – the world is in shambles with hate and pain and whether you have human children or animal children or you mother step-children, nieces and nephews, Mama Earth, the elderly with whom you volunteer, and more, YOU mother the world. 

It’s Purpose, and is how I’ve been able to heal the pain of not yet having my own children.

Yesterday, I celebrated my “Baby Blessing” – it’s like a Baby Shower, but instead of gifts, each woman brought in her matriarchal ancestors and read a poem or wisdom for me and baby. 50 women gathered online – my mom and aunts and sister and niece, and cousins and friends from when I was 14, in college, first divorced, from different cities I've lived in, grad school, Goddesses I've met through women's programs and PurposeGirl, and it was the most glorious, touching, uplifting 2 hours imaginable. 

Several women said to me, “Carin you have always BEEN a mother. You mother women, you mother teenage girls, you mother men at the companies you speak to, you mother ME.” I bawled, crying.
I’ve always mothered the world.
Even in heartbreak. Even in challenge.
I have Mothered the World and it’s saved my life, made my life fulfilling, and elevated me!

You Mother the World, too. Whether right now you’re doing all you can to get your kids fed and homeschooled, or you’re mothering yourself with love to make it through this time, or you’re giving advice to young or lonely colleagues about how to get through this, or you’re sending masks or groceries or donations to neighbors or nursing homes, YOU, TOO, MOTHER THE WORLD.

Even if you have your own kids, once they’re grown, you have purpose beyond them and it will lift you up to share your SuperPowers with the world! That’s what it is to live your PURPOSE. We share our juice, our gifs, our aliveness

, and the wisdom we’ve learned from pain with those who need it to help them RISE UP.

In this week’s episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I go deep into how we mother the world – whether as a mom to humans or as Purpose beyond our own children. I cry about 6 times as I honor my own mom, I share some of my fertility journey, and I share how you are needed to Mother the world now. It’s a passionate, emotional and touching episode that you will love. Listen here.

And if you’re struggling today, reach out to a friend to Mother you, or reach out to me. Or if you’re celebrating today, share that with others. Whatever you do, remember that a gift of Woman is Unconditional Love and we are all NEEDED.

I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.

XO,
Carin

So how's your inner dialogue going during COVID? 
Are you judging yourself for not getting homeschooling “right?”
Beating yourself up for not getting your house clean or dream project done?
Or are you like me, comparing yourself A LOT on social media??!!

I'm finding self-attack rampant right now among women! 

Things are hard enough and then we're making them harder with a double punch of self-attack!
Listen – it's normal… Our brains actually evolved to compare and be critical in order to help us “be better,” “do better,” and “survive.”
But it's NOT helpful. 
Or useful. 

According to psychology researcher Dr. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas, we think self-attack will motivate us, but in actuality, studies show that it does the opposite. It makes us DO WORSE.

And don't even get me started on how awful self-criticism is for our health! It puts us into fight/flight, heightens our blood pressure, and lowers our immune system. Not so good for COVID-19. 

Beating yourself up for having a cookie just makes you want to eat the whole box.
Criticizing your parenting skills makes you want to shut off and shut down. 
So, self-criticism is “normal” but actually detrimental.

And it's SO much worse for women.
According to the Institute of Leadership and Management in the UK, women have 50% more self-doubt than men!!
Now how is that going to help us ask for the raise, get the promotion, help our kids, approach the love interest, write that song, or start that purpose business??

It won't.
Sister, something has to change, and I actually believe that all this self-attack is coming up right now during COVID so that us women finally vomit it out, burn it up, and make a massive shift to the self-compassion, self-love, and purpose that will heal and change this world! 

Think about it – if you pick apart your wrinkles and then criticize the dark circles under your eyes, how vibrant are you for your next Zoom call? Do you really want to be seen on camera? NO! 
But if you look in the mirror and praise your beautiful eyes, your soft skin, and your Goddess like hair, you'll show up on that call confident and poised! 
The same is true for parenting, for getting that promotion at work, for starting your business and for everything! 

It's our time to shift to self-compassion.
To kindness. To forgiveness. To love. 
I said to girlfriends yesterday, “My old self-attack story is getting boring. I'm even sick of it myself!” That's what we need, to vomit it up and shift!
We need to give ourselves a freakin' break! 
Men don't beat themselves up for giving kids more screen time! 
So if your kids are fed right now, you're doing great!
If your work is getting even partially done, you're rockin' it! 

This week's PurposeGirl Power Bite is all about self-compassion. It's a 2 minute quick video to help you give yourself the love you need now. Watch it here.

And after you watch it, I challenge you to take yourself and your purpose higher. In the EMPOWERED and Goddess on Purpose Programs, I encourage women to CELEBRATE themselves EVERY. FREAKING. DAY! In the PurposeGirl Dream Business Accelerator today, we agreed to “juice each other up” with celebration every morning!

Now, if you had a CHEERLEADER in your ear every day, telling you how awesome and capable you are and giving you permission to be human, wouldn't you feel amazing?? 

That's what we can do for ourselves with Self-Celebration! And that's what we can do for each other. 
It's why I run Sisterhoods to empower you to live your purpose, like the Goddess on Purpose course and EMPOWERED program.

So vomit your self-criticism out. Get your self-compassion and self-celebration on. 
And let's put our wonderful yummy loving perfectly “imperfect” purpose and passion into the world. 

XO,
Carin