Has Fear ever held you back?
Yeah, me too. And everyone I've ever met.
But we don't have to – we can turn that fear into courage, and here's how… 

Just last week, I was coaching a client about going for her dream – turning her purpose into a business – and she kept saying “I just have a Fear Block.”
I totally get it. I had a Fear Block that held me back for 8 years before finally pursuing my purpose and in those 8 years, I became severely depressed, horribly ashamed, and I even got shingles even though I was healthy. 
One day, I realized that my fear could become fuel for courage and it changed everything. 

So I asked my client to think about the word BLOCK and what image comes up in her mind.
“Like a big WALL,” she said. Right – when we see fear as a wall, we will be paralyzed because you literally can’t walk through a wall.
Now this is a strong brilliant woman – a successful professional and a single mama who has overcome a LOT in life! So I asked, “Are you going to let the fear stop you?” Of course, she said, “No.” 
So I asked her what she can call the fear instead. 
“A fear Hurdle,” she said. (Exhale….) Then I can jump over it.”
EXACTLY!! Fear is a “hurdle” you can jump over. A “challenge” you can overcome. An opportunity to rise with courage. 
See even the most elite runners trip on hurdles. But then they get up, they learn from it, and they run another race.

I guarantee you've done this with a million hurdles in your life.

Courage comes from the word, “Cor” – which means Heart, in Latin. So what's required to move through Fear is Heart. 
What if we saw Fear as fuel to listen to our Hearts? 
When you feel Fear, realize, “Oh, this is IMPORTANT to me. This is what my Heart wants.” 
And the pain to your heart of NOT writing that book, NOT starting that coaching business, NOT becoming a personal trainer – NOT listening to your HEART – will hurt 1 million times more than the fear hurts now. 
You can love your fear. You can speak to it kindly as you would your child. You can let it know that everyone has fear. Let it know that you'll be ok no matter what. Let it know that if you trip on the hurdle, you'll dust off and run again!

Your truth, your heart, your vulnerable story, your wisdom, your courage, your PURPOSE is needed – now, more than ever. 

So give yourself a compassionate hug. Step over that hurdle. Take ONE SMALL ACTION STEP on your heart knowing – and allow yourself the pride, satisfaction and fulfillment found in following your truth, desires and purpose!

This week's episode of the PurposeGirl Podcast is all about how to Shift Fear into Courage. I give 4 client stories – plus a couple new ones of my own – highlighting specific fears and specific solutions to jump over that fear hurdle. You'll learn so much in this episode and get SO much courage and confidence to move forward! Listen here!

Let me know what you're most afraid of in following your Dream and what one small step you'll take!

With so much love,
Carin

Do you ever say to yourself, “Who am I to do that?”
“I'm not qualified!”
“Who would want to listen to me?”
Let's face it: As women, we're in a Self-Doubt epidemic. 

Last week in the PurposeGirls Facebook Group, I posted the question “What's the biggest thing holding you back from your big dreams?” 

Answers started pouring in:
Fear. 
Fear of failure. 
Fear of rejection.
Insecurities.
Not feeling good enough.
Not trusting myself.
Feeling like I don't deserve it.
Wanting permission and approval from others.
Money.
Afraid of making a mistake.

The list went on and I'm sure you can relate. I can. The first time I had the inkling that I was born to empower women, my Fear Brain immediately shouted: “Who do you think you are? You're not Oprah! No one wants to listen to you! You don't know what you're doing. You don't know the first thing about having a business. You never follow through on dreams anyhow…” 
Blah.
Blah.
BLAH.

With each criticism, my heart quickened, my belly hurt, my face flushed, my eyes saddened, and my shoulders sank. I decided it wasn't for me and went back to trying to fill the hole in my soul with bigger job titles, different relationships, shopping. 

But the deeper voice – my SOUL VOICE – the one who whispered “Women need you..” “You're meant to do this..” never went away.

What I came to realize is that the only way overcome the self-doubt is to move through it. 
To learn how to talk back to it.
To courageously take action EVEN WITH THE FEAR.
To create a “growth mindset” that learned to ask new questions like “How can I?” and “Who can teach me?”

The fact is, that we are in a Women's Self-Doubt Epidemic.
Ads and news articles scream at us all day long that we're not pretty enough so we need this eye cream. We're not young enough so we need this hair dye. We're not smart enough so we make less money than men. 

One of my clients grew up without models of strong, successful black women – so deep down she internalized that she didn't deserve her desires.
One of my clients grew up learning that girls needed a man's approval – so deep down she internalized that she couldn't make decisions on her own.
One of my clients grew up being told to “tone down” her dancing, singing, and unicorn optimism – so deep down she internalized that she couldn't be herself.

What did you grow up learning about your own Power? What did you learn about your WORTH? 
What did you learn about being the Bold, Beautiful, Brilliant, Badass, Brave, Sweet, Sacred, Sexy Woman who goes for her dreams, as you were born to do? 

Let me clear all of that up for you now:
You are worthy.
You have value that the world needs.
You are more than enough. In fact, you're perfect because even your “flaws” and “messiness” have a message for others.
You don’t need anyone’s permission.
But if you do, you have mine.
Ask yourself “If I believed in myself fully, what would I do?” Then do it. Take one step.

Here's the deal:
If you don't go after your dreams, you will REGRET it and that will hurt 1000x more than the fear and insecurity hurt now.

And I won't allow you to have that regret. Not on my watch.

One of my coaching clients, “K,” came to me to get out of her industry. Even though she rose through the ranks, it didn't light her up. She dreaded work. So we honed in on her dream industry – Beauty and Fashion – and what she discovered was that she felt “silly” for wanting to go into it. Family members didn't get it – she had a great job, after all! But as we just completed her coaching package, she was on her way to her second interview with a MAJOR fashion house!! They wanted her for a BIGGER job than the one she applied for because she came off with such confidence and conviction!!! 

As we completed our coaching package, I asked her what she got out of it and she said, “I have SO much  more confidence now. I know my dreams aren't crazy. I believe in myself. I'm in my feminine. I've been networking and going out of my comfort zone. I feel SO GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!!” 

That's what's possible for all of us with commitment to our dream, clarity of why it matters, courage to put ourselves out there and confidence in our true, messy, perfectly imperfect unique selves.

Repeat after me: “Everyone has self-doubt. And I'm not gonna let it hold me back!” The key is that the ones who go for their dreams DON'T LET SELF-DOUBT HOLD THEM BACK! If you want to step out of being a Self-Doubt Statistic, here's how to follow your Dream:

1. Commit – Make it non-negotiable. That's what I did when I went to get my Masters degree in Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. It was $55,000 and I went on loans but the pain of NOT going ate me alive. I decided I was going.

2. Clarity – What is your big vision? Why do you want it? What's your message and mission? Who are you here to help? Get clear and the dream will follow because the more EXCITED you are about your vision and your capabilities to achieve it, the more contagious your energy will be!!! 

3. Courage – You have to ask for what you want. I'll cover this more in my next newsletter, but the key here is to muster the courage you've used countless times in your life to overcome other obstacles and get out there and be visible. 

4. Confidence – This doesn't mean believing you're the greatest thing since sliced bread 100% of the time. Rather, this means that you believe in yourself that even if you're rejected, even if you fail, even if people judge you and your partner doesn't get it, even then – you know that you can dust yourself off, be resilient, and get back up to try again! It's self-efficacy. You're confident enough to get help, to be resourceful.

K got there with my support. I get there with my coach's support. Who will support you? 

So, here’s the bottom line: You are NOT a victim – not to money; not to life. You are the CREATRIX of your own life.

When women live their purpose… Kids will learn to live theirs. Communities will be served. More money will be generated. The world will heal and change by women stepping into their Purpose, Pleasure and Power!!

Let’s get you those dreams in 2020!! Let’s get you on the way!!!

I’m taking 2 new 1:1 coaching clients before baby comes. Want one of those spots? It's you and me creating your dreams, diving deep to shift the blocks and empowering you to take courageous action forward! Email me to chat about 1:1 coaching!

I’m also launching the PurposeGirl Dream Accelerator for a  select group of highly motivated, heart-centered women ready to create or expand their Purpose-Based business and exponentially increase their impact and income!! I just released the application yesterday so you can now apply here today!

Let’s move you forward!!!

Here's to you and your Dreams!

XO,

Carin

Happy New Year, Happy New Decade – I have the BEST, BIGGEST personal news to share…
After 5 years of fertility struggle, I AM PREGNANT!! Saturday is 12 weeks and our PurposeBaby BOY is due in July!!!

If you've been in my community for a while, then you know that this is a HUGE desire of mine and I'm so proud of myself for believing in my heart knowing – even when it was difficult, for following my purpose no matter what, for being resilient and courageous, continuously asking “How can I?” instead of saying “I can't.” 

I'll share more about this in coming weeks and months, but I feel so grateful to share this news now because with the turn of a new year and new decade, we literally get to create our path forward. We get to choose! 

What are your wildest dreams for this decade? If you could have anything and everything you desire, 10 years from now, what do you want life to look like?

10 years ago, as 2009 became 2010, I felt called to go to a coffee shop before work. There, I grabbed napkins and wrote out a 10 year vision for my life – for what life would be NOW, at 45. I wrote:

*I'll be a public speaker inspiring thousands around the world
*I'll be a teacher helping young people reach their potential and dreams
*I'll be a loving wife to a husband who is my best friend, partner and love in all of life
*A sweet baby is sleeping in the rocker
*I'll have my own show, be my own version of Oprah
*I'll be a writer, getting to inspire and empower others

On New Years Eve, I found those napkins tucked away in an old journal and read them with awe and gratitude. 
Every desire has come to be (except that I said I've have a beach house LOL – one day!)

As I journaled on New Year's Eve, I felt so blessed and so grateful. It hasn't all been easy – heck no! So much has been downright hard. I've been rejected a million times. I've felt fear constantly. I've had failures and defeat! But I kept going. I rose back up stronger, better, more purposeful and powerful. 

The truth is that I took action on all of these dreams. I bravely left a good-paying job that didn't fill my soul to go back to graduate school so that I could try this. I knew it was a risk, a gamble – but I believed in my purpose and in myself and knew I would handle it no matter what. When I graduated, I hunted down someone at SiriusXM for a year until she gave me a chance on air. With fertility, I sought support from experts – nutritionists, coaches, healers, spirit baby whisperers and doctors and let my friends hold me in Sisterhood. 

I share all of this because I believe that whatever you write on a napkin today for your 10 year vision is possible for you. 
You have EVERYTHING you need inside of you to create that vision. 
And whatever you don't know, you can be resourceful and get help to figure out. 
No one else is responsible for your happiness – not your partner, not your job, not your friends. YOU — and I believe in you.

I share more about how to fulfill your desires on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast. Click here to listen and you can hear my voice as I describe my baby, these napkins, and my belief in YOU. 

In 2020, I'll be rolling out new programs for you to be a Goddess on Purpose. For you to be so clear on your vision, to be in your feminine power to womanifest them, for you to be brave and courageous to take action on them and to co-create it all with the Universe! These programs are going to be SO good, so potent and so powerful, you will not want to miss them!!! 

If you want to begin working on that vision now, if you don't know your purpose, you aren't clear on your dreams and desires, you're filled with self-doubt, lacking confidence, or you think you know your purpose but can't get yourself to take action… If you just know that you CANNOT continue living the way you did in 2019 – feeling disempowered, out of alignment, stuck – then start your year with me as your coach NOW! I have 2 opportunities for you: 

1. ONE spot just opened up for my already sold-out EMPOWERED program starting January 23 because a participant had an emergency. It's 4 months with me as your personal coach and teacher, weekly deep and powerful exercises to discover your purpose, get into your feminine pleasure and power, remove old fear and limiting blocks, learn growth mindset, get accountability for weekly action, plus a supportive Sisterhood cheerleading you. You'll be SO juiced up at the end that you will feel like you can do anything – and you'll be on your path to doing so! This magical combo has led women to start businesses, go back to school, write books, change careers, leave abusive relationships and more! This will change your life – did that spot magically open for YOU? 

2. I have room for just TWO more 1:1 coaching clients in January. If you want me all to yourself to focus on your dreams, then 1:1 is for you. With my loving support every week for several months, you will get so clear on your purpose, create a whole new life of joy and pleasure, melt old barriers, and be accountable to take action. As one of my clients who through our work discovered her purpose, got her dream job, moved to a new city, and reconciled her marriage texted me a few days ago: “Thanks for being a guiding light through 2019. I couldn't have done it without you!”

These opportunities are only open to a few women and they will go fast. So, which opportunity is for you? Click here to email me to hop on a call and see if it's for you! I'm ready for an incredible powerful delicious fun sexy 2020 with you!!! LET'S DO THIS PURPOSEGIRL! 

I've spent the last few days deep in reflection, thinking about the past year and the past decade. I do this every year. I spend hours thinking about what the year brought me:

• What were the wins? Big or small, what was good? What surprised and delighted me that I never could have planned for?
• What did I learn? Even in the most challenging situations, there's so much wisdom to gain. 
• What am I leaving behind? What fears, shame, guilt, old patterns, stories, relationships, or limiting beliefs no longer serves me? 
• What do I desire instead? 

Then, I feel into the new year – what do I desire? How do I desire to feel? Who do I desire to be? What big audacious almost can't talk about them dreams and desires do I have? 

I'm going to post more about desires and 2020 in a couple of days. For now, I want to share some of what I learned in 2019.

I don't know what 2019 was like for you, but for me, it was filled both with heartache and ecstatic joy. 
I cried a lot over my fertility journey (no advice or sympathy please – I'm GOOD, but sharing to keep it real) and I laughed a lot with Josh, family and friends.

What a reminder that life is full of “both/and.” Both happy and sad at the same time. Darkness and light. Pain and purpose. It's not that we need to (or even can) strive for “only” joy, but that joy can be found and chosen no matter what.

What a reminder that you are not a victim. Everything – EVERY. THING. – happens for you. 

When things felt so hard over the summer, I knew I needed something to shake me up and bring me back to joy so I celebrate that I went to Burning Man where I danced all night lit up in lights, walked and played naked with pride and confidence, burned old stories and pain that has weighed me down, and elevated my soul. 

I rose up in such internal peace and joy and magic started to happen. A publisher called with a book deal out of nowhere. 10 new clients showed up to work on purpose, being a Goddess, self-love and reclaiming joy. A house I owned that was burying me and Josh financially sold. And so much more. 

I learned that when a woman is in her pleasure and joy, she attracts all she desires.
I remembered that I CHOOSE – that I am in charge of my own happiness, no matter what the circumstances.
I remembered that my desires and heart knowing are never wrong – no matter what society or other people or my critical mind says. 

And from the challenges this year, I learned to get help from experts. I remembered to surround myself with a village of support – Sisterhood, girlfriends, family, therapists, coaches, and community. I learned to never give up. Every time you think “That's impossible” – instead, ask “What IS possible?”

And the year was filled with wonder and joy too. I got to coach dozens of women to live their purpose and fall in love with themselves. From a client who got her dream job with a non-profit, to a client who started her Purpose business, to another who cleared pain from being abused as a child so that she can finally feel free and alive, I got to witness women live in their power. 

I coached women through my EMPOWERED program to claim their worth, took women on Goddess Girls retreat to Miami and brought Goddesses “home” to Avalon, Glastonbury, England, the birthplace of Priestesses. 

I spoke at amazing companies like Progressive Insurance and Richemont, Cartier's parent company. My team and I held the first Women's Happiness Summit with 30 experts for 3,300 women and women said it changed their lives! We held the second annual not-for-profit Women's Global Happiness Day with 75 events for thousands of women worldwide! The PurposeGirl Podcast reached #2 and #3 and #7 in self-help in many countries including Slovenia, Mexico and Macau!! (THANK YOU!!!)

I found out I'm going to be an aunt again! I got to spend both of my parents' 75th birthdays with them, took yummy mini vacations with Josh and different girlfriends, and had lots of game nights with our close friends. 

So even if you feel like you've had a hard year, I guarantee there are wins to celebrate and wisdom to learn. When you do this exercise of celebrating the good, you allow yourself to remember all of the delicious moments. Otherwise, you miss all the good.

I also realize old patterns I am READY to leave behind. GOODBYE:

• Thinking I need to “control” everything with my mind when the flow of positivity and joy will elevate your dreams beyond what your mind can conceive!
• Self-doubt – thinking others know better, are better or do better than me. We're each on our own glorious journey and I don't want to trade mine with anyone!
• Letting fear stop me from being BIG and BOLD with my mission and wisdom so I can empower you to be the same! 

As I reflected on the year, I thought of YOU – my PurposeGirls. My readers, students, clients, friends, Goddesses and community who are on this brave purpose journey with me. I thought of how you're each a Goddess on Purpose, here to live your fullest, most alive, most joyful, most fulfilling, and impactful life. I'm immensely grateful for you being on this courageous path with me. 

So what about you? What are your wins of 2019? What did you learn? What are you leaving behind? And what do you desire for next year?

THANK YOU for being on this path with me. Thank you for trusting me and learning with me. I hope you have a fabulous new year, filled with purpose, joy, pleasure, abundance, fun, peace, good health, fulfillment and more. 

A few years ago, I was in the middle of a really rough period. Two years after my first miscarriage I was still having frequent panic attacks, so I said to my mom, “I think I've had anxiety since starting this business.” 

She replied, “Carin, you've had anxiety since you were 3.” 

3?! I'm not exactly sure what a 3 year old gets anxious over but reflecting back, I knew she was right. 

I remember being at my Bubie's house (that's “grandmother” in Yiddish), and watching all of my older cousins laugh and play together. Other than my sister, they were all boys, OLDER, and BIG. I stayed in the corner with my thumb in my mouth and my blankie nuzzled up to my chest. 

Since then, I still sometimes want to hug my blankie and stay in a corner!!! 

When I had an inkling that my purpose was to empower women, I put my proverbial thumb in my mouth and hid in fear for 8 years. 

Perhaps you can relate. 

I hear from SO many PurposeGirls that fear and anxiety hold them back from living their purpose, but as we go into 2020, I want you to be EMPOWERED, I want you to feel BRAVE, I want you to step over fear and move forward in your purpose!!! 

I WON'T LET ANXIETY AND FEAR WIN and I won't let it win for you either. Our purpose is bigger than the anxiety!! 

So on this week's episode of The PurposeGirl Podcast, I interview the best anxiety expert I know. Here's the catch – he's our FIRST EVER, male guest – Dr. Todd Pressman. Yes, he’s THAT good!!

Todd is a dear friend of mine and a well known expert in the study of anxiety. Considering one in five people (1 in 5!!!) suffer with anxiety, I knew it was crucial to have THE best expert in the field for this important topic.

In this episode, Todd walks us through:

• How fear (Todd uses fear and anxiety interchangeably) is underneath all sources of suffering
• The importance of getting our minds around the one core fear underlying all our own suffering and how that can give us true power
• The five deceptions of fear
• How we can uncover our one core fear, using his process, Digging for Gold — and Todd takes me through this exercise (I get RAW and REAL!!)
• His exercise, Flowchart for Your Life Journey
• Our chief defense that we’ve used throughout our lives to protect against our core fear
• Exercises to help you work with your core fears and pursue your path on a daily basis (including The Alchemist, The Witness, and The Warrior’s Stance)
• How to choose Fulfillment and Purpose over Fear!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Already, two women have told me that they listened to the episode TWICE because it was that valuable! 

Listen to this episode here. And if you want to get Todd's book, click here!

Plus, if you want to be fully on purpose, on fire, and in your power in 2020, join my free live training “Be EMPOWERED in 2020” on December 16 at 7 pm ET. On the training, I'm going to teach you:

• To clarify your top desires for 2020
• The 3 pillars to being a happy, fulfilled woman
• The #1 issue keeping women from being free, alive, and empowered (It will surprise you!)
• My proven 5 step process to becoming the EMPOWERED woman you were born to be
• How to ensure that you identify and take steps to live your purpose in 2020!

It's going to be SO empowering and SO great – you WANT to be there! Click here to register! And if you can't be on the training live, you still want to register because then I'll send you the recording. Click here!

We can live WELL even with anxiety. You can THRIVE no matter what! In fact, I believe that our challenges make us EVEN STRONGER, WISER, and MORE POWERFUL so if you're like me and have suffered from anxiety – or whatever challenges you've had, see it as your greatest TRIUMPH, turn that pain into PURPOSE and let's rock out 2020!